Kate's ACL surgery (full story)

by Katy
(Pittsburgh. PA)

hey everyone,

i tore my acl in November of 2010, in the last soccer game of my season. I'm 15 now, it was my freshman year, and i was a very good player, i started on varsity as a striker. and When i tore my acl i could not get over it, and it took me a long time to recover. i just got cleared in June, and I'm starting back up again, into my sophomore year of soccer. But here is my story:

i was chasing a rebound, and there was nothing in my way or on the ground, i turned back when the goalie got the ball, and my knee twisted and i fell down, at first i felt this terrible pain, but i tried getting up and it hurt even more, i fell back down,and i couldn't get up. i thought i was going to pass out in front of everyone in the stands, the other teams goalie told the ref to stop the game, and when i was sitting on the turf, i knew my soccer career was over, i didn't even know what the ACL was.. :/ but the trainer took me in, and i couldn't walk, and i couldn't stop crying, but the next day i missed school and went to a doctor, he knew right away i tore my ACL, and i got xrays just to make sure. Yeah, it was torn all the way, there was no way of fixing it without surgery. Me and the Doctor talked about what i could get, and we made an agreement that i would get an ACL of someone that was dead. (theres a word for it, but i cant think of it right now) so after that i had to keep bending it, and i went with my trainer everyday after school, because the more you stretch it, and work on the bending, you wont hurt as much coming out of surgery. So, a month after i tore it, the big day came, and i was getting surgery, not going to lie, surgery was one of the scariest thing's. But the surgery itself wasn't bad, i went to the hospital, waited for a half hour, they took me in a room, the doctor talked to me about the possibilities of things happening, and they gave me a shot. this was the best part, haha. it made me all loopy, and crazy and stuff, i couldn't even feel the butterflies in my stomach, so they wheeled me back to the surgery room, the last thing i can remember is them putting a mask on me.. When i woke up i was laying in a bed, my dad next to me, and the nurses asked me how i was feeling & all. i really wasn't in that bad of pain from what i remember. i left really quick, and the nurses wheeled me to my car. and for the next days after that, i sat on my living room couch, and yes, the pain was unbearable. i slept through most of it. & i remember breaking down crying on the couch, but a week after, i went back to school in a wheelchair, i couldnt walk for 2 & a half weeks, but after the first week of surgery, i went to the doctors, and there i got my stitches out, it didn't hurt at all. But i had alot of swelling, so they had to take fluid out of my knee, it was kind of weird, they numbed me,(which was the worst part) but then the took blood and other fluid out of my knee so the swelling would go down, it even felt a little better after. But then, it was all about physical therapy every day, and doing all my exercises, my knee was definitely getting better. i went to the doctors once a month for 7 months. i had physical therapy 2 times a week. they continued to get harder more and more every month, the last month was mostly running on the treadmill, jumping, and building up muscle. Then the final day came, and my doctor said i could start playing and practicing, and i ended up playing in a game 2 weeks after that, i honestly was terrible at first? i thought everything was going to be fine, but when i stepped onto the field i was just nervous and uncomfortable, and i thought i messed my knee up even more, i didn't play for a month after that game, something felt wrong, so i went to the doctors, and he said everything seemed fine, i was worried, but thankfully, it turned out i went back in a little early, and i played to much, and i iced it down alot more, and it got better. FINALLY. so my doctor gave me a slip that said i was cleared, i was so happy, but i really didn't have much emotion getting back in, i just felt very lost, because i knew i wasn't that good.. and it's going to be really hard. :/ but i started practicing, and getting ready for high school season, and running alot, i was very sore at first, and my soccer skills went down the drain, but i am gaining them back day by day. This is where I'm at today, we had a practice Wednesday to run a mile and a half, but to make the team you have to be able to run it in 11:30. first time i ran it, 14:45. i am so mad, i honestly am really bad at running now, i dont know how i will ever be good at soccer again, when i run in this brace, it slows me down, and it is hard for me to run in even. i feel embarrassed when i run, because last year i was leading the team, always making people catch up to me, now, i can barely keep up. :( It's hard for me to push myself, because i feel like i will never be back to the player i once was.. im really lost, and i wish i had someone to talk too, none of my friends understand how hard this was for me, not that i want them to take it easy on me, they just expect me to be on my top game, and i cant do that, at least not right now.

Anyways, if anyone would like to say anything, just comment, id be happy to hear any advice or anything, I'd really appreciate it.