Mo's ACL recovery

by Mo
(Miami, Florida)

I had professional football (soccer) tryouts in the US last February and unfortunately during my second day a defender blew out my right knee (out of spite) and within minutes it swelled up to the size of a melon and I knew right then that I was out for a good long while....

I had an MRI done on my knee when I got back and the doctor told me that if I even want to think of playing a scrimmage game with even friends I have to have an ACL reconstruction. This was really scary to me because I have always heard of professional footballers that do this surgery and NEVER come back to their optimal performance and are ridiculed for it (best example would be Ronaldo of Brazil). But at the same time my passion for the game made it a no brainer for me because I knew I would still play eventually if I didnt do the surgery. The other reason was because I was in negotiations with another team considering me after a successful recovery from my injury, which brings me to the main reason I am writing here on this blog.....

I have 3 months left to officially complete my therapy course, or at least take the final test to see if I'm fit to go back to full contact football without any worries. I have two main concerns, the first and foremost for me is that of Kinesiophobia, the fear of reinjury... I am now 6 months post-op and even though my therapist says I should start running lightly and gradually build up my momentum, as I do increase I automatically find my mind as if to turn off and tell me NO! DONT PUSH IT THAT HARD...even tho my body feels like it can and should do it. I really dont know how to get over this and I'm so afraid that it will take its toll on me even after I'm done with the course. Anything related to this would be greatly appreciated...

My second issue is that EVERY SINGLE ARTICLE I've read about ACL post-op experiences and expectations, I find that I am somewhat behind in relation to where my physical fitness level in the knee and leg area should be. My main concern is that even though I can pretty much bend it all the way,even if i sit down on my shins with both knees bent, I always feel this tension starting from about half way up my thigh and going down to just past my knee cap and it doesnt seem to be getting better even with stretching. Could this possibly mean that I have built up scar tissue and its just getting in the way? And if that is the case, is there any way I can get around this. I have tryouts coming up again with an even bigger team in about 4 months from now, & I feel am faaaaar from my game, so any help or suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated. Thank you, godspeed and best of luck to all of you out there with recovering injuries!